just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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