I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
