I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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