how can u be prego again
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
