She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
