yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
