im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize