yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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