yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
