Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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