I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Welp...herpes.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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