My brain says no but my pants say off.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
