Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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