it glows. i had to have it.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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