you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
is it fun? or sober?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
