So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
