she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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