I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
