proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
