Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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