she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
