Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
