i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
