you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
