Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
