Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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