And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
