I look better un-naked...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
