Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
