I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
