Do you still have your period?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
