Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I can't turn off my feet"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
