I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
