im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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