So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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