I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize