So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
