i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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