you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
