I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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