Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
