Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
