I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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