Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
No subtext here. People are naked.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
