Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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