Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
