Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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