dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
