We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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