Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
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I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
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He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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