So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
