I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
