Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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