dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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