Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
