So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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