The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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