You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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