Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
