I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
