Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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