Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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