her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
if only i could text you this smell
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
