I'd wear matching sweaters with you
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
