mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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