this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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