No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
